Tarryn Tomlinson


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About Tarryn Tomlinson

No human is responsible for the emotions of another. Being an adult means that we take full responsibility of our actions AND emotions. As children if we were caught doing something that we should not have been doing, we would say; 'Jimmy made me do it'. Parents teach us to take responsibility for our actions, however, very seldom if ever are we taught to take responsibility of our emotions. Very often you will hear adults say; “Sue made me feel so bad/angry etc” but the truth is that our perception of what Sue said or did is what is making us feel a certain way. No-one can make you feel one way or the other. How you feel is how you choose to feel based on how you process the situation. You are not responsible for anothers emotions nor actions and neither is someone else responsible for yours. What we do often as 'unconscious' adults is make someone else responsible for our emotional well-being so that we don't have to deal with the underlying cause of why we have reacted in a certain manner. You see it's easier to blame those around us for our emotional state of being, than it is to take complete responsibility for our perceptions. The thought pattern of one who abdicates responsibility is; 'If only this and that could change' or 'If only she/he did this, that or the other THEN I'll be happy'. Yet, if we are basing our happiness on external factors then we can never be happy because no one can guarantee that situations stay the same and no-one can be perfect enough to meet our every expectation. When we do not learn to take responsibility, our emotional growth is stunted and we stay emotionally immature, resulting in emotions that are unstable. An emotionally immature person is one who doesn't take responsibility for their emotional states, who like a child looks to another in order to fulfil their emotional needs. This is what emotionally immaturity means. An emotionally stable adult asks nobody to change in order for them to be happy. An adult makes decisions based on what is best/good for them. What supports their well-being and asks nobody to be different. Have you been emotional abused or are you emotionally abusive? Emotional abuse happens when one person manipulates another in order to get their emotional needs met. Any and every time someone disrespects your identity as an individual and tries to use any manipulation tactics in order to make you jump to their tune it is emotional abuse

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